bomb cyclone

I already know that I'll be staying home tomorrow - the office is closed because we're expecting a blizzard of some sorts, although it looks like it's mostly rain tonight (it was 55 degrees when I left the office at 6:30pm, so it's a little hard to believe that tomorrow may be one of the worst winter storms they've had in Colorado). So I spent today getting some work done, and had a scramble at the end of it to cancel everything that was scheduled for tomorrow for my VP's visit (hopefully she made it out of Denver today instead, but that's not up to me).

After work, I grabbed dinner at Motomaki, went to the grocery store to stock up, got gas just in case, and then came home, where I mostly messed around and didn't accomplish nearly enough. And now I'm going to go to bed - goodnight!

knock me out every time you touch me

I'll keep this brief - I woke up early enough to write before work, got to the office at 9:15, and was so busy that I didn't even sit at my desk until 5:45, at which point I decided to leave. There was a break for bingo somewhere in there (team activity because the VP is in town, don't ask), and it's a sign of how much I don't want wine right now that I skipped having wine with the bingo even though they had one of my favorites (a Decoy zinfandel, made by one of the wineries I visited this weekend).

Then I came home, messed around and pretended to work, texted with [censored], and then actually slogged pretty aggressively for the last three hours. And now I really need some sleep - goodnight!

it's a long long long way down

I'm back in Boulder after a perfectly uneventful day - I awoke this morning feeling the effects of yesterday's wine extravaganza, but I made it out of bed and was showered and packed by 9:15 (no thanks to the time change). Shedletskys and I had breakfast in Calistoga before parting ways, and then I drove to SFO and caught a flight several hours earlier than planned. This was great since it meant I got into Denver at 6:30pm instead of 9:30pm, which will make tomorrow a lot better.

But my trip was great - it was a really nice weekend, and I had fun hanging out with my friends. We went to Duckhorn and Grgich Hills yesterday, both of which I love. We had an impromptu lunch at Brasswood, where I had a perfect meatball on top of some polenta, which was great for a rainy day. We also stopped at Flora Springs just because we could, and reminisced about stopping there when I did my birthday wine bus years ago.

Dinner last night was a little over the top - we went to Auberge, which has a (deserved) Michelin star. Their wagyu beef was perfect, and I pretended not to have a gluten issue, which made today bad but meant that yesterday gifted me with an amazing chocolate dessert that I can't even describe properly. Of course, I came home tonight and ate peanut butter, which is almost as good, but my ambience was somewhat lacking.

And now it's time to sleep - goodnight!

for now it's time to run

No blog  - I had a perfect day, but after twelve hours of drinking in Napa, anything I say will be self-recriminating. Goodnight!

that's why they call me mr fahrenheit

I had a perfect day off today, which was exactly what I needed. I didn't get quite enough sleep last night, but I got enough to avoid the worst effects of last night's rose. When I got up, I showered, had some coffee with Veronica's husband, and then did a couple of work things before shutting my laptop for the day. I then chatted with Veronica for a couple of hours - it's never enough, but it was great to get some quality time with her.

At eleven, I left V's house and drove to my old neighborhood to have brunch at Caffe Union. Tony was happy to see me, and I was happy to go there on a weekday - usually I'm only in town on the weekend, when he's too busy to talk. I hung out in the kitchen with him and watched him cook while we talked for half an hour or so, and then he made me my usual huevos rancheros, which I ate while sitting at the bar and talking to Lori (one of the servers - I am friends with her and Tony on Instagram so I have a few glimpses into their lives, but it's not the same as seeing them in person every week).

So that was a delightful way to start the day, and would have made the day memorable no matter what else I did. But the fun didn't stop there - I drove up to Sonoma and met the Shedletskys at Gloria Ferrer. We sat on the patio and drank sparkling wine, and it was a perfect day for it since it will probably rain tomorrow. When we left there, we drove to Calistoga - we have grand plans for wine tomorrow, so it should be a good weekend.

We had dinner at Solbar, which I'd been to once before, and it more than lived up to expectations. And now it's not quite ten, but I would love to get nine hours of sleep, so I think I'll tuck myself in early. Goodnight!

there doesn't seem to be anyone around

I'm safely ensconced in Veronica's guest room, which is so much better than the place I stayed in Mountain View that it almost feels like the Four Seasons.

I slept okay last night because the night before was so laughably bad that I was too exhausted to stay awake all night. That was a good thing, since I had a presentation to my VP's boss this morning, and I had to get up early enough to shower, please, drive to the office, prep, and have breakfast before the meeting. Luckily, I accomplished all of this, and the presentation went really well - which may, as these things go, result in more work in the long run, but for today was a victory.

I then spent the rest of the day meeting with people I liked, and I left at 4:30 to drive to SF. I spent the night hanging out with V - she made a tasty green curry in her instant pot, and we drank two bottles of rose and gossiped for six hours, so that was all so so delightful. This kind of night is something I miss about living in SF... But I can't let myself get tempted, because I don't miss the microcilantro, which is something I would have to eat all the time if I were living in the decadence that comes with the fall-of-Rome vibe of San Francisco.

sssanyway... Now it's time for bed - goodnight!

run boy run, this world is not made for you

I slept terribly last night - this is really an awful hotel, so much so that I told my boss I'm never staying somewhere like this again just to stay under our travel cap. Since I'm usually relatively frugal with corporate travel (as opposed to my own travel), this may have surprised her. But I'm hoping I get some sleep tonight - last night I'd had too much wine during my endless delay in Denver, and also too much caffeine, and also did too much work and so my thoughts were racing.

I dragged myself out of bed sometime after six, and was in the office by 7:30. I worked straight through, no breaks, until five. Then I took an excursion to the San Jose airport - I didn't feel comfortable renting a car last night due to my moderate but steady and l wine consumption, so I took lyfts yesterday and today. But I get super carsick as a passenger in traffic, so I decided it was worth it to pick up a car today so that I don't have to get myself to the city in a vomitmobile tomorrow.

Then I came back to mountain view, called Aunt Kathy, and had dinner at my favorite Mexican restaurant. And now it's only 9:17 but I'm going to go to bed - I need to be sharp tomorrow, and I hope sleep will do the trick. Goodnight!

take me back to constantinople

I'm in the shittiest hotel I've ever stayed in in Mountain View, which is still costing my company $240/night because that's how economics works here. I got up early enough to write this morning before work, which was a minor miracle. Then I went into the office, had a meeting, then had coffee with Tomas and Dave (the coworker who sat next to me in my old job, whom I haven't seen in like three years). Dave was in town for something and had set up time with me and Tomas, so we hung out for an hour - not a terrible break from the grind, but probably not the most useful thing I could have done today.

Then I had more meetings, had lunch with Alice, and drove to the airport, where my flight was delayed by three hours due to wind in SF. So I got quite a bit of work done at the airport and on the plane. And now I should sleep - goodnight!

now it's turkish delight on a moonlit night

I started my week off on the right foot this morning, since I actually wrote before work. I'd been in it to win it during my writing retreat, but then Uncle Mark died and I spent a week in Iowa for that, and then I spent the three weeks after that trying in vain to catch up after being out for two weeks. But there are glimmers of light at the end of the tunnel - it's probably rescuers tunneling towards me who are going to accidentally collapse the tunnel on top of me rather than pulling me out, but I'm going to hope for the best.

So I wrote before work, then went into the office, did a bit of work while eating breakfast, made yet another presentation to my VP and her directors (my team and I are getting pretty good at pulling slides together quickly, and this one went well), then had a mix of meetings + more time to get stuff done. I ended up staying at the office until seven in an attempt to get through some email backlog, but I was only moderately successful. So I came home, ate some leftovers, and packed my suitcase - I'm headed to California for a few days, which should be stressful at first and hopefully delightful later.

And now I'm going to go to bed so that I can hopefully write before work and still make it to the office on time in the morning - goodnight!

time, time, time, see what's become of me...while i looked around for my possibilities

I should probably be in bed...but that's always what happens at 11pm on a Sunday, when I've spent the weekend luxuriating in the bedtimes/waketimes that my body would prefer if it didn't have to go to an office. Today was more productive than yesterday, although it wasn't maximally productive - but I did three loads of laundry, finished a deck for a presentation tomorrow, made a very awesome instant pot beef stew (thanks to V for the recipe!) that I will have to freeze since I won't be here to eat all of it, and also talked to [censored] and talked to my parents.

So, that was all a fairly lowkey cap to a v. lowkey weekend. It was still snowing through most of the morning / early afternoon, and it's only two degrees outside right now, so it was not really the kind of weekend for getting out of the house. I'll have to get up and go into the office tomorrow, though, so sleep really is a good idea. Goodnight!

there's a patch of snow on the ground

I slept over ten hours last night, so today was pretty slow - I mostly procrastinated, then took a bath, then got my nails done. When I came home, I exerted myself just enough to make dinner (spaghetti carbonara), and then I was going to write... But my desires got the best of me, and I finished the last five episodes of The Umbrella Academy instead (#noregrets). But I should do more tomorrow, so it's time for bed - goodnight!

i think we're alone now

I dragged myself out of bed at 6:30 so I could go into the office and work before work actually started....so you can guess how thrilled I was when I was finally done with my endless string of meetings at five p.m. There was some stuff I probably should have done tonight, but instead I went grocery shopping (it might snow a lot here this weekend, so I needed to stock up), and then came home, ate grocery store sushi, drank some wine, and binged five episodes of 'The Umbrella Academy'. I don't usually binge tv, but when I do, I make it count.

And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

in all the good times i find myself longing for change

Today was a full-on onslaught of all the things that lure me fully into corporate america - money, status, prestige, fine wine, etc. My VP's boss is in town, and my VP also happened to have an all-hands today, which meant I had three hours of meetings with them - and I had to present a couple of things at my VP's all-hands, and also moderate a Q&A with the big big boss. We also had an official opening of our new space, including a ribbon cutting, and so I had to do that before scrambling to do some work for an hour since I'd ignored everything in favor of getting through all of the stuff that absolutely had to be done today.

But I left at 5:30 so I could drop my car off at home and then walk to Frasca to have dinner with my VP's boss and the rest of the Boulder site leadership team. I've been wanting to go to Frasca for awhile - it's next door to Pizzeria Locale and owned by the same people, but Frasca is super fancy and has won a whole bunch of James Beard awards. I shudder to think how much the bill ended up being - we had a four-course tasting menu in a private room, and the big big boss was in charge of ordering wine. Since he's French and v. v. vocal about his love of French food/wine and disdain for American food/wine, we started with a very nice champagne, then had at least three different, wonderful red wines throughout the meal. At some point I heard him say that he was going to be more reasonable with the next wine or else Sundar would fire him - which I doubt, but also, the first wine tasted like a gift from heaven and was served in a glass that was probably more expensive than any bottle of wine I would buy, so I would guess his expense account is far more luxurious than mine.

sssanyway. The food was perfect - I pretended for the night that I have no issues with gluten, and I don't regret that choice because their bread was amazing and the pasta was one of the best things I've tasted in awhile. Actually, that's a lie, because the wagyu steak and the amazing mashed potatoes in the next course were even better than the pasta. I also spent a lot of time talking to Michael and Mike about the good/bad old days from a million years ago, so I had a surprisingly fun time considering that it was a work dinner and I was attempting to be on good behavior.

But now I need to sleep off the wine so that I can get up early and do all the work I should have done tonight. Goodnight!

but there's nothing to grab so i let go

It's eleven p.m. and I just got out of a meeting, and I have to do the same meeting at ten a.m. tomorrow. Yes, my life is glamorous. I'm in a slightly better mood today than yesterday, although I just yawned like one of those Reach toothbrush guys, so I should probably go to bed.

But I survived my usual slew of meetings, had the luxury of a whole hour free in which to get some work done and grab some food, and was able to leave at 4:30. I went to the post office, came home, took a nap, and called my parents since our call last weekend was somewhat abbreviated....and ended up talking for almost an hour and a half. Then I ate some leftover enchiladas from the other night, tidied up my kitchen, did 45min of work, met with someone in India, worked for another 30min, and then sat through another hour-long meeting.

And now it's time for bed - tomorrow promises to be hectic, since my VP's boss (the big big boss?) is in town and I've got meetings and Q&As and a dinner with him, all of which excites the ambitious side of my brain and exhausts the "I would like a break now" side of my heart. But I shall survive. Goodnight!

white knuckles and sweaty palms from hanging on too tight

Today was better than yesterday....not a ton better at the office, but I had some downtime that allowed me to get a few things done so it was better than nothing. The new office space makes me v. happy - the food in our new cafe is excellent, and it's nice having a barista area to work in (it makes me feel, momentarily, that I'm #funemployed instead of working for the man).

But I was also happy because I left at 4:30 to drive into Denver - I had a dinner that I got invited to by someone on LinkedIn, and it appeared that the group was mostly comprised of other fairly senior female leaders in tech, finance, science, etc. I didn't know anyone there (the person who invited me was the founder of the group, but she's based in NYC), but it was good to step outside of my comfort zone and the Boulder bubble and meet some new people.

The dinner was at Beatrice and Woodsley, which was a v. hip, SF-style restaurant near 1st and Broadway (which is also a far hipper environment than Boulder...I stayed near there in an airbnb when I was exploring moving here, and I probably would have moved to that area if I wasn't working in Boulder). There were about 35 women there in total, with a wide variety of experiences and interests, and I mostly really enjoyed it (even though it was a lot of small talk). I met some cool people, had some great food, and exchanged numbers at the end with a woman who seemed fun, so it was worth the drive.

But now it's 11:30 and I'm desperate for sleep - goodnight!

tell me something girl, are you happy in this modern world

I had a fairly annoying day at work... So annoying that I went to Verde and had chips and margaritas and some journal time to try to clear my head. Nothing dramatic happened, but I just wasn't in the mood. I'll have to get in the mood since I have a ton to do, but that's a problem for another day. Goodnight!

steak knife, card shark, con job, boot cut

I had a pretty good weekend - it's a shame that it's not a three-day weekend, but I think I'll survive. I spent yesterday investigating what it would be like to be an adult - I met up with my landlord/real estate agent (Lou), and we looked at a few houses in Denver. I'm still the tiniest bit on the fence about both location and house type - I'm pretty sure that what I want is Option A (a single-family Victorian in Denver), but there are definitely appealing things about Option B (a townhouse-style duplex in Denver with new-build layouts and fancy finishes) or Option C (a single-family home in Louisville, where the neighborhood is probably super boring and I would have to drive to everything, but where I could get like 3000+ sq feet for the price of 1600 sq feet in Denver).

However, I have heard my downstairs neighbor's girlfriend giggle for like twenty minutes straight just now, so maybe sharing a wall isn't worth it no matter how nice the finishes are. Also, I really like being able to walk to stuff (although [censored] pointed out that I just bought an Audi - did you all know that? - so maybe I could drive to more things). So I think the single-family house is probably the way to go....but we'll see.

So we looked at three places yesterday - a duplex that was really well finished but in a not-so-great location (and without a main-floor bedroom); a Victorian that was so bad that I laughed the entire time I was in it; and another Victorian that I actually really liked and might have made an immediate offer on if I didn't think I was being hasty by offering on the third house I toured (and also the bedrooms are tiny... I could turn one into a closet, but it wouldn't leave much room for future expansion). The location of the third house was a big selling point, but if there isn't room for all of my shoes, what's the point in being able to go out?

sssanyway, after looking at houses yesterday, I came home, talked to my mom, and then walked to Pizzeria Locale, where I indulged in some pizza and alone time before the rush. I also talked to [censored] and my dad, and then was so tired that I went to bed at ten and slept for over ten hours.

Today, I had to get up relatively early for a Sunday - I had brunch plans in Castle Rock with my friend Barbara. We went to Pegasus, which had an odd mix of Greek, Mexican, and American food - but my breakfast enchiladas were really tasty, and the coffee was good, so it hit everything I needed. It was wonderful to see Barbara - she spent a couple of weeks in India in January, and I was dying to hear about what she saw and how she felt and whether she loved it as much as I do (verdict: yes, but she also had all the crazy intense not-sure-if-I-like-this-or-if-this-is-the-worst-trip-ever moments that I've had before). We spent a couple of hours catching up on life, and it was exactly what I needed today.

On the way home, I stopped at Nordstrom in Park Meadows and returned some stuff, then got some different stuff. I also called Drewbaby, and we talked for quite awhile as I was driving home (and then as I was parked in my driveway / in my house). I then spent the rest of the evening eating leftover pizza, doing laundry and other house stuff, and taking care of a few annoying work tasks so that they aren't hanging over me tomorrow.

And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

shave your face with some mace in the dark

My hand still hurts, but I don't think it's broken...which is good, since I had way too much typing to do today to deal with a broken hand. I had many meetings, as usual, but I also had rather leisurely breakfast and lunch dates with various people in the office. I didn't get out until 6:15pm, which is a travesty on a Friday. But when I got home, I ate some v. tasty food that was in the fridge and spent a couple of hours organizing house stuff. I'm going to look at a few places tomorrow with my real estate agent, so I wanted to print some stuff out and make some notes about what I'm looking for so that I can better assess the places I see tomorrow.

But I didn't want to work or do personal work all night after working all day, so I stopped thinking about houses and played some Civilization instead. And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

choking on the splinters

I had meetings straight through from 8:30 to 5:30, which was not conducive to getting work done. I should have worked tonight when I got home, but instead I went to River and Woods, where I had a v. ridiculous evening - this is the second time in a row where I went there with the intent of journaling, and instead met someone involved in the pharma industry who asked for my number. But it was a v. good way to relax and ignore the many multitude of things I should be doing, so I'll take it.

Of course, I left feeling high on life, tripped as I was walking home, and felt like I broke my hand (not really, but I definitely injured it), so I was reminded that I am no longer a youthful ingenue. But I think I'll survive...although bed is a v. good idea right now, since I have to get up early to do the work I should have done tonight. Goodnight!

forces of evil in a bozo nightmare

I only got six hours of sleep last night, which was not enough. But today went about as well as it could have - I got to the office in time to grab breakfast before a 9:30 call, then slogged all day. I took a break to have lunch with Caroline - our new office building opens next week, but I was on the list to test the cafe this week. And it's so awesome - the space is really cool, and I am excited that I may not always end up eating a sandwich like I usually do (but who am I kidding, I like sandwiches).

Then I slogged the rest of the day, then had dinner at Fate Brewery with some co-workers. I wanted to skip, but I was told I had to show up to pay for it. So, I got a free burger and some wine out of the deal, which is better than nothing, even if I should have gotten other stuff done tonight.

And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

lenny bruce is not afraid

No blog - I woke up in a somewhat bad mood, and while my time in the office was okay (probably because I worked from home from 9 to noon), I ended up working until 12:30am, which was not what I wanted to do. However, I did take a 3.5hr break somewhere in there - I had happy hour with Tomas at Boulder Depot (Tomas is one of the guys I went to Frankfurt with many years ago, and he and his family moved to Boulder last year, so it's great to be working with him again). And I finally bought groceries, changed the sheets on my bed, and generally did some house stuff that I had intended to do this weekend, so it's not all bad.

But now I truly must sleep - goodnight!

what goes around comes back around

I was supposed to do a million things today, and I didn't really do any of them. I needed some time to myself this weekend after many weeks of activity, but this may have been too much sloth even for me. I didn't leave the house today, but in my defense it was ten degrees and had snowed overnight - still, I had meant to cook today, and instead just ate leftover chili for lunch and scrambled eggs for dinner. Oops.

But I did do some personal work stuff, and some finance stuff, and also took a bath, so it wasn't all a lost cause. And now I'm going to go to bed so I can get up early and contemplate the work I had meant to do today - goodnight!

lots of people out to make-believe they're living

Today was much more productive than yesterday, if you count lunch with Katie as productive. I woke up in a rather leisurely mood, made some coffee and eggs, and spent a couple of hours at my desk doing personal work stuff, which felt good. Then I took a quick shower, drove to Denver, and picked up Katie. We were going to go to Avanti, but it was super crowded; then we walked to Postino, where the wait was 30-45mins. Keep in mind that this was at 1:15pm, so clearly Denver's brunch scene is beginning to rival San Francisco's.

So we walked up to Old Major, which told us a twenty-minute wait - but they ended up seating us after like five minutes, which was perfect. They're known for their pork products since they do their own butchering, so I got the eggs benedict without the muffin, and the ham and egg and hollandaise was absolutely perfect (as were the breakfast potatoes, but I rarely meet a breakfast potato that I don't like). Katie and I had much to discuss, so we closed the place down, then went down the street to a coffee shop, which we also shut down. So, after discussing many and varied topics, I dropped her off around 4:30 so that I could head back to Boulder.

It snowed all the way back to Boulder, so I'll be interested to see what tomorrow looks like. I also talked to my parents and then ate some leftover chili (yum), and then I debated being productive...but instead I binge watched four episodes of Top Chef. I'm still not caught up, but I'm getting there.

And yes, today was still more productive than yesterday, so #noregrets. But tomorrow needs to be even more productive than that, so it's time for bed - goodnight!

rare form

Today was a good day for being lazy - which is probably what I needed after many weeks of activity, but I'm now feeling like I was a little too lazy. I did leave the house and walk down Pearl to get a haircut, and then browsed Peppercorn (my favorite home goods store) and grabbed a sandwich before coming home. This evening, I also made chili and cleaned up downstairs. But the rest of the time was spent reading Twitter (gross) or playing civilization (love it, but several hours it probably also gross).

And now I need to sleep - I intend to be lazy tomorrow, but I also intend to write and see Katie, so we'll see how it goes. Goodnight!

xoxo

I'm too tired to blog - today wasn't too taxing (I actually had one hour at my desk), but I was still at the office for nine hours. And my night was exactly the boring evening that I wanted - I went for a walk, then got takeout Mediterranean food, then drank wine and played civilization. And now it's time for bed- goodnight!

ghosts of paraguay

You can probably guess how I spent my day. If you guessed that I spent it in meetings, you were correct (and you don't get a prize because no one gets a prize for something so obvious). I got up early enough that I was able to do an hour of work at my home desk before leaving for the office, and then I took a lyft to work because I'd left my car there last night and I was running too late to walk there.

I had meetings straight from nine to six; some of them were contentious-ish, and all of them were relatively important, which meant that I had no time for lunch (I told my 1pm meeting that I was going to be late just so I could grab some food). When I came home, I probably should have worked, but I refused to - instead, I finished unpacking from Iowa, did a couple of loads of laundry, and texted with [censored]. I also spent 25mins untangling three necklaces that had gotten hopelessly tangled months ago - it was incredibly gratifying to succeed, so at least I've accomplished something worthwhile this year.

I ended the night with wine, a music station called 'post-apocalyptic electronic wasteland', and my journal...so I'm feeling more relaxed than I did (albeit sadder than I was; I've been avoiding my journal since Uncle Mark died, but I had to confront at least the uppermost tip of that emotional iceberg at some point). And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

some days i just pray to the god of sex and drums and rock 'n' roll

I had meetings straight from 9-3, a happy hour from 3-5, and then dinner with Alice and Annie (the managers who report to me), so I'm pretty tapped out on work and people. Dinner was great - we went to Upstairs, which is the lounge-style place above Kitchen, and the food was excellent (as was the wine, and even more importantly the company). Annie is based in Mountain View, so it's rare for the three of us to be together, and so it was great that we had a leisurely evening.

However, I'm tired, and I need to get up early to get some stuff done before work, and I was also feeling fragile this morning - grief is a very odd thing in terms of how it strikes and how variable it is when it comes to healing. So, I'm going to go to sleep despite all the pressing deadlines, and I will power through tomorrow no matter what kind of drama unfolds (tomorrow promises more drama than usual, but it's nothing I can't handle). Goodnight!

red red wine

Today was another long day, but we had some enforced fun - we left the office/off-site at 3:30 to do a wine activity. There is a winery in Boulder (one of several that I've been too snobby to go to), and we went there for a class on how to blend wines. My group did a syrah/Merlot/Malbec blend that tasted great at the time and is now probably terrible... And I'll be able to find out how terrible, since we all got our own bottle.

Then we had dinner, and then I came home, sat on my couch, took care of laundry, and then did two hours of work because I had no good choice. And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

time will help you through, but it doesn't have the time to give you all the answers to the never-ending why

Today was a punishment for all the work I missed over the last two weeks - I had meetings straight from 9am to 7pm (two hours later than I usually have meetings, although I shouldn't complain because someone in India came in at 6:30am there to meet with me since I'd asked them to reschedule from last week). Those meetings were so straight that I didn't get anything else done, which meant I had to work for a couple of hours after I got home.

But I also had a poke bowl at Motomaki, did some laundry, texted some people, and had a glass of wine, so there was a bit of relaxation in there. Also, I verified that my headache/jaw pain is stress related - it was all back by the end of the day, which was not a pleasant way to start the week. So, that's something to mull over as I try to figure out how to rebalance my life and make more time for things that don't involve making presentations. But that's a problem for another day - right now, it's time for bed. Goodnight!

know we can make it if we take it slow

Sorry for not blogging the last couple of days - I was tapped out on figuring out what to write, and also desirous of as much sleep as possible. Friday was entirely uneventful - I took a handful of meetings from home, and sent a few emails, but probably didn't do as much work as I should have since my heart wasn't in it. My parents, [censored], and I went out for supper - my parents have suddenly become regulars at the Mexican place in town, but it's easy to become regulars when you really only have two restaurant options anyway. I had the fajitas, which were really tasty (these are the only fajitas I've had with bacon in them, but there's no going back now that I know this is a possibility). I also tried a margarita, and while it was good, it wasn't a margarita - I think it was more like a tequila sunrise, since it tasted like it was mostly orange juice and was served with an orange slice instead of a lime. Either they misunderstood my order, or they are unable to get limes consistently in my hometown. However, it was sixteen ounces, which is enough to make you tipsy whether it's a margarita or a tequila sunrise or basically any other cocktail, so #noregrets.

The combination of margarita/tequila sunrise, sadness, and residual exhaustion meant that I went to bed fairly early on Friday and slept until ten a.m. yesterday, which I really needed. That put me behind for the day, though - I wanted to go up to see Drewbaby and Aunt Kathy again, and since it's a two hour drive each way, that didn't give me a lot of time. But I ate some breakfast, showered, and headed north - the drive was a lot more pleasant than it was on Thursday, since there was neither snow nor wind. The most dangerous part of the drive was when I turned into the driveway at home after 200mi of driving and nearly slid into a pole because I wasn't paying attention (I was too busy trying to figure out what animal had crawled under the drainage tube in the north driveway - I'm guessing we have a skunk).

sssanyway. I'm glad I saw Andrew and Aunt Kathy again before I left, and they may have been glad to see me too since I helped to reset Uncle Mark's Gmail password (note: I do not have special access to do this - it was possible because he had linked his phone number and a backup email address to his Gmail account. If you have not done this, you should, or else your relatives will never be able to get into your email! Unless you're using your email solely for porn, in which case, carry on.). Hopefully I'll see them again at Easter, but we'll see what the spring brings.

I walked in the door at home last night just in time to eat supper - my mom made beef stroganoff, which was yummy. I then spent most of the evening at the kitchen counter, laboriously removing the gel polish from my fingernails and giving myself a diy manicure while talking to my dad, who continues to have more crazy stories than anyone I've ever met.

This morning, though, I had to pack up and get ready to depart. I woke up early enough to enjoy a leisurely morning, drinking tea and then eating breakfast casserole (this recipe was a winner; hopefully my mom remembers that this one was a winner, since she seems to make a different casserole every time by accident). Then I had to shower, throw all my stuff in a suitcase, make some tea for the road, and say goodbye to my parents. [censored] took me to the airport on his way to [censored], and so we had ninety minutes to discuss [censored], which was a nice way to end my stay in Iowa.

I got to the airport in time to have a salad and a glass of wine while doing some work, and then I answered work email all the way to Denver. My trip was about as smooth as it could be, and I made it to Boulder by 6:30, where I bought coffee and cream and a frozen pizza at Whole Foods, then came home and took care of some stuff around the house. I wasn't particularly industrious, and I didn't do laundry as I had intended, but I did carefully unpack the rose that I took from my uncle's casket spray and cover it in silica in an attempt to preserve it (we'll see if it works). And I got my stuff mostly ready to go to the office tomorrow, so hopefully I survive my first day back in two weeks.

And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

some people got the real problems

Today was hard. I barely slept last night, and I blame the hotel for being too hot, the pillows for being ergonomically unfriendly, my cold for limiting my breathing, and my dreams/anxiety/sadness for conspiring against me. [censored] didn't sleep well either, so it wasn't just me. But I dragged myself out of bed around 6:45, and we were both ready and out the door (with a bit of hotel breakfast) around 8:20. We stopped at a convenience store to get me some cough drops just in case I had an episode in church, and then we went to the funeral.

It was really hard seeing Mark for the last time, and perhaps harder watching my dad and Aunt Becky seeing their brother for the last time, and Kathy seeing her husband for the last time, and Andrew seeing his dad for the last time. The family all got there early to have a few moments alone with his body before the service began, and then we congregated in a back room as people came into the church. The attendance was lower than it likely would have been because the weather was terrible - it snowed on top of the ice overnight, and the winds picked up to create whiteouts, and so travel was generally treacherous. So, the Kansas City cousins (my grandma's first cousins) didn't come up, and I'm sure they weren't the only ones who made the right call and played it safe.

But the service was really nice, all in all, although I obviously would have preferred not to have had to do it. The reading started off pretty bizarre - it was Matthew 25:14-30, the Parable of the Talents, which basically tells the story of three slaves whose master entrusts them with varying amounts of money; the two with the most money invest and double it, while the third buries it to keep it safe. The master rewards the first two and casts out the third with much wailing and gnashing of teeth (on the part of the slave, not the master, of course). I've never heard it read at a funeral, and at the end of it I was definitely having a 'wtf was that' moment (in my head, of course).

Then the pastor said that somewhere, Mark was probably laughing at the fact that the pastor had to figure out how to preach on this parable at a funeral (they chose it because it was marked in every Bible that Mark had), and that made it better. And the sermon was actually pretty good, especially as it wove in various aspects of Mark's life. Chuck Offenburger gave a beautiful eulogy (he's the columnist who wrote the blog entry earlier in the week), and Aunt Becky talked about her travels with Mark, and then Andrew (you know him as Drewbaby) talked about the things his dad had prioritized upon retirement with just the right mix of humor and honor, and it was all lovely and heartbreaking (and [censored] and I later agreed that we probably wouldn't be able to hold it together for a eulogy for our parents the way Drewbaby did for his dad).

The upshot of every story, every speech, every snapshot over the last six days is that Mark lived a really good life, and touched more people in more ways than most people ever knew. And as horrible as it is right now, and as horrible as it will continue to be, there's some comfort in knowing that he invested his life so well.

After the funeral, the family went to the gravesite - which was blessedly brief, since the snow was scouring the site and it was too cold to be outside for more than a few minutes. And then the funeral was over, and this chapter is closed.

There was lunch at the church after, and then my parents and Aunt B / Uncle B went home, while [censored] and I went to Kathy and Drewbaby's house. We hung out with them and with Drew's other cousin (his only cousin on his mom's side) for a couple of hours, and it was nice to have some quiet time with them. Then, [censored] and I left in separate cars, and I survived the two-hour drive south through all the blowing snow (which luckily cleared up south of Des Moines, although the wind was still annoying).

I spent the rest of the night eating takeout pizza (Casey's now has gluten free pizza crust, which is a wondrous development), watching some tv, talking to [censored] about [censored] (his favorite topic), and sending a couple of quick work emails to confirm/cancel a couple of meetings for tomorrow - I am only planning to take a couple of hours of meetings, but I want to dip back into work a little bit just to keep from being frightfully behind next week. And now it's time to go to bed and hopefully get more sleep than I did last night. Goodnight!

hey [censored], there's an endless road to rediscover

I'm in a hotel room in Ankeny with [censored], where we have just carefully negotiated our wakeup time to ensure that we can both get ready and get out of the hotel in time for the funeral tomorrow. Today went about as well as it could have, under the circumstances - when the circumstances include death and freezing rain, it's just not going to be totally pleasant no matter what you do.

I woke up after approximately seven hours of sleep, sent a couple of emails, showered, made some tea, and threw stuff in my car for the voyage north. I drove up separate from my parents because I wanted some alone time with my music and my thoughts, but this was perhaps a mistake - I hit freezing rain, then sleet, then more freezing rain and snow, and discovered in the middle of this that my windshield fluid was either empty or frozen, which made things mildly treacherous.

But I got to Aunt Kathy's house around 1:30, which was pretty good time considering that I stopped to run a couple of errands. [censored] was already there, and I hadn't seen him yet on this trip, so we reunited and discussed how we're in the same circle of grief (long story, maybe I'll tell you later). We eventually went into the church, where we spent four hours - visitation was three hours long and there was a steady stream of people the whole time. There were moments of levity, moments of total grief, and moments of everything in between.

After, Drewbaby and Kathy went home, but my parents, [censored], Aunt B and Uncle B, and I had a late supper at Jethro's, where I fed my grief a whole bunch of nachos. And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

bittersweet symphony

I was feeling fairly emotional today, but I was able to bury some of it in work - I took a few hours of meetings from my Iowa bedroom, and I also did some work for the past 2-3 hours. This was mostly putting some finishing touches on a presentation that had felt really important two weeks ago, and now doesn't feel important at all - my team pulled it all together without me and will have to give it without me as well. But they'll be fine, and this week is one of those periodic stab-you-in-the-heart reminders that there are more important things in life than slideshows.

But, work was a good way to avoid crying, so I guess I'll take it. Whatever time I spent away from my desk with spent in the company of my parents - mostly talking to them, and also nursing a few glasses of Vitamin C since I seem to be coming down with a cold (or reincarnating the sinus infection I had a couple of weeks ago). And now I should sleep, since I have to drive to Des Moines in the morning before we get any freezing rain as expected tomorrow afternoon.

Finally, if you want to know more about my uncle, you can read the post a famous Iowa columnist wrote about him here. He closed with, "I always thought that Mark Wampler was smart enough, experienced and connected enough, to be governor, or a member of congress, or a leader in the legislature. But the truth is, what he was, was plenty good enough.  He touched and inspired thousands of people who, like me, will be telling Mark Wampler stories for the rest of our lives."

I couldn't say it better myself.

forever may not be long enough

I'm back in ye olde Iowa, a little more than a month since I last left it. I looked at my calendar today and realized that I have only spent seven business days in the Boulder office in the last six weeks - it's amazing that I'm still employed. Granted, that covered Christmas, a nearly two-week trip to California (in which I went into the MTV/SF offices every day), a massive sinus infection, and last week's vacation...but still. By the time I get back to work it will be seven days in seven weeks, which has to be some kind of record.

sssanyway, I'm avoiding my emotions by typing that. I woke up this morning and it was a mad scramble to get out the door, but I think I have appropriate clothing for the week ahead (mourning, with enough coat/hat/glove/mitten investment to get me through the next polar vortex). I made it to the airport, returned my car to the same parking lot from whence I'd picked it up last night, checked a bag, made it through security, scarfed down a burrito bowl, grabbed some coffee, and made it to my gate (at the very farthest reached of the terminal) just in time to find out that my flight was delayed by 30mins. That 30mins could have enabled me to have a margarita, but since the gate was in the farthest reaches (literally going off the end of the terminal rather than being perpendicular to the terminal like all the other gates), there was no time for margaritas. Sigh.

But the flight was otherwise fine, despite being on a tiny tiny plane (we boarded outside via walking up a ramp, and I had a window/aisle seat and had to be careful not to hit my head standing up, which should tell you something). My parents picked me up in Des Moines, and then we drove to Altoona, where my dad schmoozed with some people for a few minutes before we met up with Aunt Kathy, Drewbaby, Aunt Becky, and Uncle Brian (who now goes by 'Brian') at The Big Steer. We walked in right at five, and the place was packed shortly thereafter - understandably so, since my ribeye was the best steak I've had in forever (even better than the steak I had in Oceanside, which I thought was outstanding...and this one was half the price, which is still $10 higher than what my parents pay in our town, so as usual the economics of my life is confusing).

Of course, it was a somewhat melancholy meal; the only other time I've eaten there, Uncle Mark was there too, and he was never far from any of our thoughts. I'll be up around Des Moines quite a bit this week, but tonight my parents and I came home, where we (or at least Mom) watched the Iowa State basketball game. And now, about two hours after I'd planned to, I need to go to sleep - I'm going to do some day job stuff tomorrow so that I'm not completely AWOL, so sleep would be a good idea. Goodnight!

there'll be peace when you are done

I'm back in Colorado, although my flight to Iowa leaves in about thirteen hours, so this is not a luxurious return. But today went as smoothly as I could have hoped for. I slept, woke up, showered, packed, ate some eggs and toast while looking at the ocean, and then spent a last few hours writing + talking to my writer people. If you discount the sad, shitty end to it, it was a really great week - I feel reconnected to the writing in a way that I haven't for a really long time, and excited about the projects that I worked on this week (although I added more than I narrowed down, so not sure that I totally hit my goal there, but c'est la vie). I also had a great time hanging out with my friends, so hopefully we can do another retreat later in the year.

Anne and I left around three - there are still five people left in Oceanside, but our numbers dwindled over the last couple of days since V left on Friday and Deb left yesterday. I was supposed to stay until tomorrow, but that didn't happen, obviously. Luckily, Anne was flying out about the same time as me, so we went to the airport together. I dropped her off, then dropped the car off, then got to the airport in time to eat a burger and call my parents before boarding.

The flight was on time; we landed early; I was out of the airport and in my car in twenty minutes, which feels unheard of in Denver. When I got home, I spent a few minutes sending my regrets to people at work for all the work I will miss this week, and now I need to sleep so I can get up and throw some fresh clothes in a suitcase before heading back to the airport. Goodnight!

the worst things in life come free to us

I don't really have any words right now; life turns instantly, and I was reminded of that yesterday morning when my phone rang. It was my dad, and his voice sounded a million years old, and he told me that Uncle Mark was gone.

So what do you say after that?

I suppose you say that one of my earliest memories was of him - he took me for a train ride one day while my mom was in the hospital having [censored]. Random images are flashing through my head - his distinctive, spiky handwriting. His hat. The way he still gave money to local causes in my hometown even though he'd left it forty years earlier. The Schwinn bike [censored] unearthed over Christmas and sent back to him as a joke. Playing games with him - from watching him play with my parents when I was too young to understand, all the way up through many Christmases of Rail Baron and Scotland Yard and Encore and Balderdash and canasta and Cards Against Humanity. The week he and Aunt Kathy and Drewbaby came to SF, and we almost froze to death on a boat on the Fourth of July. Lazy weeks on a ranch in Texas, talking about the people who came before us. Attempting to watch a solar eclipse in the graveyard where my great-grandparents are buried. All the coins and two-dollar bills, the books and newspaper clippings and the endless records of ancestors and descendents.

He often called me Sara Jane. The number of people who call me that has gone down by one, and it's a loss that can't be replaced.

//

Needless to say, yesterday was consumed by that. But it's weird to be consumed by grief in the midst of a group trip - to let the knowledge bury itself for a few minutes or hours, until it comes back to life and knocks you over.

So I'm flying back to Colorado tomorrow instead of Monday, and flying to Iowa on Monday. I couldn't go straight home since I didn't have a winter coat or anything appropriate for a funeral, so I'll be in Colorado for approximately fourteen hours to unpack, repack, and sleep. And then I'll be with my family, and able, for better or for worse, to focus on the grief and the healing.

//

Meanwhile, if you ignore that, which my mind tried its best to do, I had some nice moments here. It was storming viciously today, to the point that the house was shaking and the ceiling was leaking and water was coming in around the french doors on all levels that face the sea. But that made it ideal for staying in and writing - other than two quick walks to grab coffee yesterday and today, a farewell walk with Veronica yesterday (she left for Vegas), and a quick drive with Anne to pick up some takeout tonight, I haven't left the house.

As I said, yesterday was a wash writing-wise, but today I did manage a couple of hours of Regency stuff, and I'm happy enough with my progress. I obviously am giving myself a pass on yesterday, and I'm leaving a day earlier than planned, but taking those things into account, I met my goals this week - and that's a good feeling after so many months of being blocked.

But now I should sleep - if I get up in decent time tomorrow, I can pack and grab some coffee and still do some writing before heading to the airport. Goodnight!

dust in the wind

No blog tonight, too tired. Goodnight!

you stole my star

I had a super productive today, which means I probably tapped too deep into the vein and am going to pay for it tomorrow. I also didn't get enough sleep last night and am on track to go to bed at 1:30am again, which was probably a mistake. But I felt great about the day - I wrote for five full hours (unusual for me), made some good progress, and also still had time for a hurried walk to the corner store to buy soda before a storm came in.

I did stop sometime after five, though; we had reservations at 333 Pacific, which is a steakhouse in Oceanside. My food was super yummy (I was in need of a steak), and it was a fun outing - V is leaving tomorrow, so we were celebrating having all of us together while we can. Then we came home and hung out in the living room for the past four hours being completely ridiculous, which I adore. And now it's time to sleep - goodnight!

the district sleeps alone tonight

I had a fairly productive day, all in all - I hit my goal amount of time writing, and I also took a couple of quick walks outside (although one was to get ice cream, which wasn't all that healthy). I also spent some quality time on the roof, enjoying the sun and staring out at the Pacific, which is probably not something I should mention since I was on the phone with my parents and then my brother to see if they were surviving the crazy cold back home. But you all know that I am somewhat insufferable and yet you stick around, so thanks for that.

I finally gave it up around six, when I got pulled into ordering food for the group - we went with mediterranean, and it was all really yummy. We were all talking for quite awhile, and then some of us watched 'Book Club', which Veronica had rented - Andy Garcia was the best part of that movie, and you'll have a lot of work to do to convince me otherwise (not that anyone will want to expend any effort on this).

And now I need to sleep - goodnight!

cherish the love

I had an awesome first full day at my writing retreat. I had a perfect blend of writing a few hours and hanging out with my friends - but I shouldn't talk about it to most of you, since you're living in frozen hellscapes. It's not fair for me to mention that I spent the afternoon writing in the sun while watching the ocean; it's even worse to say that I spent the evening in the hot tub. I also took a long walk with Veronica, and then we all walked to dinner - we went to a place called Masters, which was super delicious.

And now I need to go to bed - hope that everyone who is in the midwest stays warm. Goodnight!

it's a lie, a kiss with open eyes

I can hear the ocean from my bedroom, competing with the horn of a late-night train. My writing retreats tend to be in delightful locations that are purpose-built for inducing Instagram envy, but this one may take the cake - we are as close to the Pacific as we can be, in a house with eight bedrooms and bathrooms (only Tina and Grace have to share, but they have full-sized bunk beds, so they'll survive). We didn't take full advantage of it since we got here only an hour or so before sunset, but there is a large roof deck with a hot tub, and I fully intend to make use of it tomorrow.

Today, though, was all about getting settled. I awoke in Irish Matt's house, spent some leisurely time having coffee with him, and then said my goodbyes so that he could work and I could head toward Oceanside. I had breakfast at a cafe he recommended (All Time) before leaving his neighborhood, and then I drove for approximately two hours to get out of LA and farther down the coast. When I got to my destination, I sat in my car for forty-five minutes and talked to my parents since we missed yesterday's call. They are about to go through a crazy cold polar vortex, which makes my current view almost insulting, but c'est la vie.

I stopped talking to them just in time to meet my friends for a late lunch before checking into our house. Everyone else flew in today, and miraculously everyone was on time, so we had lunch to kill time and catch up before we could check into the rental. I had some v. excellent short rib tacos, which I split with Grace in exchange for her fish tacos, and a glass of rosé was a nice way to top it off. And we dove immediately into catching up - there are nine of us on this retreat (Barbara, Anne, Veronica, Grace, Tina, Steph, Deb, and Christie), which is basically the last retreat minus Monica, and it's a really excellent group to hang out with.

Eventually we drove back to Oceanside, checked into the house, and did the Hunger Games - which is what I call us picking rooms. It's really more civilized than that, but in any rental house there are some rooms that are obviously better than others, so it requires some strategy and a good memory. I'm happy with where I ended up, although I'd be happy anywhere that I can hear the ocean. Then we went on a grocery run (I drove, as usual - but since I got upgraded to an Infiniti SUV that can fit seven or eight people, I'm probably the right person to do it), came home, ate supper, and gossiped the night away. V and I also had some more tasty rosé, and I can already feel my work tension melt away....

But that's an emotion to explore another day - for now, it's time for bed!

why do you build me up buttercup

I've been up for twenty hours, so it's no wonder I'm a bit sleepy - I had to get up at 4:20 to get ready for my trip, which i did not enjoy. But the trip itself was super smooth - the drive was peaceful, the airport security was fast, I had time to grab food and coffee, and my flight was actually early.

Unfortunately I worked the entire way rather than sleeping - I had so much work stuff to do, and doing stuff today made it more likely that I can ignore it all this week. When I landed, I picked up my rental car and drove to Irish Matt's house. You may remember him from my India days, or highlights like the time I drank with him for like six hours (and two waiter shifts) at the ferry building in SF. I, of course, remember way more than that, but if you don't remember him, just pretend you do.

We spent a glorious day together in the SoCal sunshine. We had brunch at a place that felt like Bali (lots of courtyards and indoor trees), and then we went to the Huntington, which I've always wanted to see. They had some amazing gardens, and also a lot of old books, which is pretty much my jam.

When we left, we had a three hour dinner (mostly margaritas) at a restaurant nearby, and then spent a couple of hours hate-watching the Hulu documentary about the Fyre Festival (which, let me tell you, makes me feel a lot better about how I set and accomplish goals at work) .

And it's time to sleep - goodnight!

arrow and bow

I spent today getting ready to leave again - some desultory messing around the house, some laundry, some errands, some shopping, and some work. None of that is interesting, and I need to go to bed so that I can get up early tomorrow - so that's all you get. Goodnight!

you turned the tap dance into your crusade

I had a long day at work, but I was wearing new shoes and I had a couple of bona fide hours at my desk to get some work done, so it almost felt luxurious compared to the usual. And then I drove to Denver and had an extended girls night out with Katie - we went to Lola, where we had margaritas and guacamole and enchiladas and shrimp, as well as a v entertaining waiter and a long, delightful conversation about a variety of different topics.

Usually I stay at her place after a night like this, but I wanted to sleep in my own bed, so I stayed sober. But when I dropped her off, we discovered that James was having a problem with the carbon monoxide detector, so we took a bizarre, late trip to Target, where Katie got some new detectors and I was honored to win joke of the night.

But now I need to sleep, since I have a million things to do tomorrow - goodnight!

run for the hills

It snowed here this morning and I would have worked from home, but I didn't have enough food, so I went in anyway. You can guess what I did - I slogged. It was not fun. Also, the prednisone wore off and it felt like my whole body was suddenly swollen, and I have been feeling icky, but I can't tell if it's my sinuses or stress. However, I did leave to get a mani/pedi, then drank some wine and watched Top Chef before having to do a bit more work, so at least there were a couple of hours where I had a break.

And now I need to sleep - goodnight!

baby now we got mad love

I'm feeling slightly better, but that's likely because I got nine hours of sleep last night, so I'm going to go to bed right after this and attempt to repeat most of that feat. Today went pretty well as a result - I did a bit of work at home in the morning, then slogged through meetings and work all day. The presentation that I was stressing over went well, although of course it's going to result in even more work. And then I left at 5:30 and had dinner with a coworker - we ended up going into Denver to Linger, since she has kids and lives in the suburbs and never goes into the city. It was a delightful way to end the day, so it was well worth the traffic and the drive to accomplish it.

And now it's time for bed - goodnight!

sunrise chillout

I stayed home sick today, but since I worked nine hours straight, it didn't really feel that luxurious. However, I worked for nine hours while wearing yoga pants and a sparkling pink sweatshirt, and I didn't wash my hair, and I could make fancy tea or emergen-c whenever I felt like it, so it was still a bit of an upgrade from going into the office.

Unfortunately, my sinuses still hurt - but that's also likely due to how dry it is in my house, and also how little sleep I got in the past two nights despite needing more than usual. So I ordered fresh filters for my bedroom humidifier and another humidifier for downstairs that should arrive tomorrow. I also closed my laptop at six, ate some soup that I'd been saving in the freezer for a rainy (snowy, sneezy) day, and watched some Top Chef to unwind...and I'm going to bed right now, at nine p.m., in an effort to save myself. Let's hope I'm successful - goodnight!

smashed my heart into smithereens

I'm still sick, and it didn't help that I only got five hours of sleep last night - and it definitely didn't help that I suddenly realized I had been working on day job stuff until 12:30am. I have a presentation on Wednesday, so that's important, but also I hadn't changed the timezone on my laptop and thought it was only 11:30. Dumb.

I didn't work all day, though; I lazed about, did virtually nothing in the morning, then spent some quality time with my journal / planner. At some point I showered, which was a super endeavor. I also talked to my parents since we didn't talk yesterday, and went out to get some supper (Motomaki) and some groceries just in case I decide to work from home tomorrow due to my sinus infection + the possibility that we're getting some snow.

But the work had to happen, and I spent way more time tweaking than I had intended, so now I'm probably going to die. You can engrave these beautiful slides on my tombstone. Goodnight!

i know what to do when our love is on fire

I'm back in Colorado and my ears survived the plane ride, although it was touch and go for a minute. Also, I didn't walk into my house until two a.m., which was an annoying end to my trip. But the bulk of today was great. I slept in, showered, got some coffee, packed, and then checked out of my hotel, where I negotiated $50 off the bill because they'd painted my door without telling me yesterday and I noticed this morning that I'd gotten some paint on my coat. I don't know if it will come out, but luckily it's in a place that my hair usually covers (I was holding the coat over my arm when I got paint on it, not rubbing my neck against the door like a weirdo).

After that, I grabbed my car and picked up Vidya (the Chandlord) and took her over to Geary to have lunch at My Tofu House. I've never had lunch there, but I was really feeling the desire for spicy soft tofu soup due to my sinus situation, and Chandlord was also getting sick and in need of soup. So, this was the perfect place to catch up - it wasn't as much of a zoo as it sometimes is at night, and the soup really hit the spot (and was like $18 and didn't have any microcilantro, but did have beef and clams and shrimp and an egg, so it may have been an upgrade over last night, but don't tell anyone or my foodie card will be revoked).

Chandlord was in good spirits and we had much to discuss, so we lingered over the soup until there was nothing left to linger over. Then we went over to Adit and Priyanka's (and took Priyanka some soup, since no one in our friend group can resist it) and hung out with them for a bit. I hadn't gotten the full tour of their house last weekend since the kids were asleep upstairs when I arrived, so today Priyanka made us some chai, and then they gave us the tour. They did a really nice job with the renovation, so now I have all sorts of ideas for what I want to do when I buy a house...

...but that's a topic for a different time. After the tour, Adit and Chandlord and I went for a quick coffee down the street, and then we said our farewells and I dropped Chandlord off at the Caltrain station. Just as I was pulling away, I got a text saying my flight was delayed - and I almost just rescheduled for tomorrow and went to a hotel to sleep instead, but it's supposed to snow here tomorrow and I didn't want to get stranded. So I dropped off the rental car and mucked around the airport for a few hours - mostly eating, watching the end of the Chiefs/Patriots game (boo), journaling, and staring off into space since I was tired.

My flight finally boarded, my ears survived takeoff, and I slept most of the way. Unfortunately, as we were about to land, the pilot pulled up for some reason and went back around, and that repeated pressure change wasn't totally fun, but I seemed to emerge unscathed. Then I had to get out of the airport, retrieve my car, and drive home - the 45min drive from the airport isn't fun, but at least my ride (did I tell you I bought an Audi?) was smooth.

And now I'm home and my house is slowly heating up, and it's time for bed - goodnight!

I'm high as a kite, I just might stop to check you out

I took it much easier than planned in deference to my sinus situation....I slept a lot, had breakfast at the hotel instead of anywhere I wanted to go, journaled a bit, showered, and then spent some time at the mall trying to use new purchases to fill the void where my health should live. I wasn't entirely successful, since the one thing I wanted (a new smartwatch) was actively discouraged by the woman selling it, since she quietly told me a new one is coming next week. But it was a nice indulgent way to spend the afternoon....

I also took a brief nap, then got ready and had an early dinner with Lauren (aka Subz) at Al's Place. I hit peak San Francisco during that meal, since I paid over a hundred dollars mostly to eat lettuce (and a dish topped with "microcilantro") - also, they were trying to accommodate both my gluten issues and Lauren's desire not to eat beef/chicken, and so we ate a lot of trout, which I am only mildly interested in. Sadly, they had missed the fish-only directive and brought out a steak tartare that looked amazeballs before Lauren sent it back. But the food was still good, and of course the company was excellent.

And now I need to sleep and hopefully recover enough that I can get on a plane tomorrow - goodnight!

i want a new drug

I fell asleep four hours ago, but I thought I should probably blog now that I've woken up to turn off the lights. Today went sideways - I either have a sinus problem or a jaw problem, because I have some crazy swelling around my right ear/jaw hinge.

Needless to say, this ruined my day - but I got through some meetings, then went to urgent care, where they hyped me up Sudafed, a nasal spray, prednisone for the swelling, and a muscle relaxant just in case it's my jaw. So I cancelled my plans for the night, and I just lingered around the hotel, which was the right call.

And now it's time for real bed - goodnight!

south city midnight lady

I'm in Shedletsky's guest room, slowly dying from lack of sleep, but #noregrets. I woke up stupidly early this morning and was at the office around 7:30, where I had meetings straight from 8 to 5:30 (I guess I had an hour break in there, but that barely counts). But I escaped with my life and my sanity, and I drove over to where my friends live...

... And we had much wine and much delicious boeuf bourguignon, and even more conversation, so it was great. Their kid is one of the cutest kids ever, and they're also one of the best couples, so it was a great way to spend the night. But now I must sleep - goodnight!

the automator

Today was an exercise in pain - I was rudely awakened by an earthquake at 4:40am (minor one, but perhaps another reminder that I don't need to live here), and when I finally dragged myself out of bed at six, I knew it was going to be painful to get through the day. I had to shower, pack, and get out of my hotel, which means I didn't leave until 7:30, which meant traffic was fairly bad.

But I made it to the office and somehow survived the day. I left around 5:30, picked up takeout sushi, and met my friends Jen and Joann - we were v. overdue for a friendship renewal, so I had fun hanging out with them tonight. Unfortunately, it's not all fun and games since Joann had to leave to avoid getting caught in the rain, and Jen and I are both workaholics who had a million things to do tonight. But at least there was a bit of fun and non-work delight to add some nice balance to my day.

And now I'm going to go to bed and hope that I survive tomorrow as well - goodnight!

twenty-inch blades on the impala

I had to drive down to Mountain View today, in the rain, which is an excellent reminder of why I don't live here. The drive back in the rain was even more of a reminder. However, my day itself was totally fine (albeit stressful - I had to get a Mountain Dew, which is always a tell). And I got back to the city of sin in time to have drinks with my team - we tried a new tiki bar (Zombie Village), which was v. v. delightful (and v. v. rum-filled), After, we went to dinner at a restaurant that is the sister of Lers Ros - I love Lers Ros, but this restaurant may have been even better. And we ended with a drink at some bar next to Whiskey Thieves. It's funny how all of these references are missing actual names, and are just references to things next door to  / across the street from things that were around when I used to live here. Things change, I guess....but lucky for you, this blog is still going strong despite the fact that we're living in a totally different universe than we were in 2004.

But that's a bit too much introspection for my current mood, and I need to go to bed right now if I have any hope of surviving tomorrow. Goodnight!

but first let me take a selfie

I had a delightful day in the city of sin, even if it was entirely work related. I walked to the office, which reminded me how much I like walking to the office; I had a bunch of meetings, but I could see the Ferry Building from some of them, so it wasn't a hardship.

The only bad thing was that I got stuck in an elevator, which made me twenty minutes late for a meeting and makes me never want to trust an elevator again. That was a really bad way to start the day, to be honest. But I survived, so I guess I shouldn't complain, even though I totally will complain to anyone who will listen.

After work, I had dinner with some co-workers and an external partner at Trestle (the doughnuts made the entire night, so I'm glad I didn't tell them about my gluten issues). We then had a drink at Comstock Saloon and another at 15 Romolo, which was a nice way to revisit some of my favorite haunts. My body wanted to go out some more after that, but I have to get up super early to go to mountain view, so I was good and made it home before ten.

And now it's time to sleep - goodnight!

no one’s gonna save you from the beast about to strike

I had a glorious day in the city of sin - but it's always glorious when I can just walk everywhere and not drive, as opposed to my horrendous commutes from days of yore. I woke up in time to keep my facetime date with Barbara, which I think shocked her - she assumed when I made the plan to call her at 9am my time on a Sunday that it wouldn't happen, and in many cases she would be correct, but I hadn't talked to her in forever and she's taking a trip to India in the next few days, so I wanted to catch up with her before she left. This was a delightful way to start the morning, and set my mood up perfectly for the rest of the day.

After that, I showered, then went to Olea for brunch with Tom, Julie, and Deano (aka the drunk freshmen, although Deano's real name is Brian and he wasn't one of my freshmen, and also they all have quite successful / high profile jobs now, but I can't stop myself). It was super fun to see them, so I'm glad we were able to get together. Then I came back to my hotel and talked to my parents, and then I did a bit of journaling until it was time to pursue my next slew of engagements.

I got a manicure this afternoon at my old nail salon - they were super surprised to see me, since I used to go in religiously and then suddenly disappeared for a year and a half. But it was nice to see that most of the usual suspects were there, and they do such a better job on my nails than any other place I've ever gone. I was feeling nostalgic, so I got the same color that I had when I went to Bora Bora (pacific sunset) - and yes, it's ridiculous that I remember that, but I remember the names of colors that I like.

sssanyway. After that, I wrote for a bit at Peet's, and then had dinner and a drink with Claudia and Sam. We went to Wayo Sushi, which usually is quite slow, but we were the first people in and so were the first people to get sushi, well before the sole proprietor started backing up on speed. Then we had a drink at Lush, where I was hit on by a fifty-year-old former heavyweight boxing champ who told me to look him up online, which immediately led me to the discovery that his boxing career was cut short when he served thirteen years for illegal drug possession....so in other words, I still got it.

sssanyway again. I'm now safely ensconced in my hotel, and it's time for bed so that I can go back to the grind tomorrow - goodnight!

hot like mexico rejoice

[note: this was supposed to post last night, but apparently didn't. I'm alive!]

The nap I took this afternoon apparently wasn't enough to restore me - but I had a fabulous day in California, thanks for asking. I awoke in Heather and Salim's guest room and vacated almost immediately - Heather had lunch plans and I wanted to grab some coffee before starting the long drive up to the city.

But with Philz in hand, I made it to my first plan - lunch with Katrina at a place called the Cove, which I've somehow never been to but the menu is great. We had many things to catch up on (and we even caught up on some tings, which are totally different), and so when we were finally done lingering over coffee as much as possible, we made a stop at Falletti grocery store so that I could buy the spiced fried garbanzo beans that they make at Nopalito (Nopalito is closed for renovations, but Katrina can still get in).

Eventually, though, we said goodbye, and I ran a couple of errands and then checked into my hotel. The hotel is awesome, although I was too tired to trust my grip when it came to trying to take a picture down the middle of the stairwell that goes down seven flights of stairs. I lazed about for a few hours here, mostly reading social media, taking a nap, unpacking, and journaling.

But I had to vacate one last time - I went over to Adit and Priyanka's place for takeout, which was pretty great. I hadn't seen them together in forever, so we had quite a lovely time reconnecting and discussing career issues. And this has given me much to mull over, but I really need to sleep before I continue - goodnight!

what i've got's full stock of thoughts and dreams that scatter

Two years ago right about now, I was in this bed, about to head to Bali. Tonight, I'm in Heather and Salim's guestroom again, after a long day at the office...and a fantastic steak dinner at the Fairmont in San Jose with Heather (aka dear respected madam). We spent much time catching up, then came to her house, caught up some more, and watched "Ready Player One" with Salim. And now I'm going to cut this off and sleep - goodnight!

we got the beat

Way too much work today, tbh - I woke up a little after six, was in the office around 7:15, and then slogged straight until a morning meeting with my VP, followed by meetings until five p.m. without any breaks. I did get to take one of my meetings while walking around outside, which was kind of nice, but didn't actually make up for the fact that I was otherwise in meetings all day.

At five, though, I left the office - but I had a work dinner, so it wasn't total downtime. The managers who report to me and I went to Shana Thai, which is one of my go-tos when I'm in California - I have not found Thai food that is up to my standards in Colorado, so this really made me happy. The conversation was also quite entertaining, so that's great, but it wasn't totally downtime. And then when I got back to my hotel, I had to slog through a fairly annoying task that I'd been putting off because I knew it would take two hours to do, but I couldn't put it off any longer.

Now it's time to go to bed and dream of a time when I won't have to work this many hours (i.e. this weekend) - goodnight!

watch the stars fall from the sky

It's only 9:30 in Mountain View, but I think I'm going to go to bed - I didn't have a terribly stressful day, but getting up and packing and getting out of the house was a bit of a scramble, and then I had 2.5 hours of meetings and just enough time to eat a bad sandwich before heading to the airport. I was expecting a clusterfuck since SF has been having rain delays for days, but my flight was actually on time (and I was upgraded), so it was about as smooth as it could have been.

I worked at the airport before leaving and then answered email the whole way to SF. I bummed around the airport longer than I wanted to hoping that traffic would die down, but it didn't really, so I finally grabbed a rental car and came down to MTV. And now I think I'm going to sleep - tomorrow is mass chaos and I would be well served by getting up in time to get ready for it. Goodnight!

why does my heart feel so bad

Today got off to a rough start because I slept poorly and awoke with v. stiff shoulders, but I somehow survived it. I slogged all day and also managed to get a new laptop (not actually new, but its left shift key isn't broken, which is great because I was going insane at work trying to type on a broken keyboard). I also went to the dentist for a cleaning, which was necessary even if it didn't feel like how I wanted to spend my time today.

I took a break this evening to have an extended happy hour with another woman named Sara...and then, as soon as I dropped her off, I had a call with someone in Tokyo. Then I came home and spent the last two hours trying to get my house in some semblance of order - I leave for California tomorrow, and while I haven't packed yet, I have at least done the hardest things (like printing out my manuscript and choosing which pens to take).

But now I should sleep since I need to wake up early to pack and do some meetings before going to the airport - goodnight!

i got all pig iron

Today was a v. long day in the pixel mines, as my friend Shedletsky would say. I woke up at 6:15, but I didn't write - instead, I started working on day job stuff as soon as I poured my coffee. I don't regret that, because spending three hours at my desk at home getting things done was incredibly helpful in terms of making me feel like a decent human later when my meetings started.

Still, it made for a long day. Eventually I took a quick shower, took a meeting from home, and then went into the office for another string of meetings. I managed to leave at 4:30, though, and met up with Katie at Blackbelly. The only advantage of the government shutdown is that she drove up to see me rather than me having to go to Denver - and I remembered the fact that she eats as much meat as I do, so I took her to a butcher-focused restaurant that I've been wanting to go to since few of my other visitors have been into that kind of scene.

It turned out to be a v. nice place for happy hour - she had a burger (which is probably what I really wanted, in retrospect), but I decided to try something new. So I went with their crispy pig ears, which the server described as 'bacon french fries', which is pretty much what they were. They came with a fried egg on top and some perfect red pepper jelly underneath, and it was surprisingly delicious (although rich and perhaps not actually filling enough). I also got the broccoli, which was tasty as well. And I caught Katie up on everything she needed to know about southern Iowa, so that was a fun way to spend a couple of hours.

Then I came home, messed around the house, tried on some stuff that I'd ordered online, and then did another hour or so of work for the day job. I'm trying to get caught up on a million things that have been lingering, and I don't know how successful I'll be since I'm about to go out of town, but we'll see what I can make happen.

But now I'm going to read for just a bit and then go to bed - goodnight!

building steam with a grain of salt

Today was the real last day of vacation - last Tuesday was just a test run, since Wednesday and Thursday were minimally productive and I was hanging out with John and Jess Friday and Saturday. However, they left early this morning, so I had one final day to get some stuff done and settle back into some semblance of order before the chaos starts again.

I was far more productive than I usually am on Sundays - I got out of bed before 8:30 of my own volition, and spent the morning making lists of things I require in possible houses + researching printers + doing some bullet journaling. I had a noon meeting with my landlord, who is also a real estate agent - I'm considering buying a house, so I wanted to see if he would be a good fit for what I'm looking for. This is a tiny baby step toward the ultimate goal, but we had a good conversation. I still need to do some more thinking about what I want - the biggest question is whether I want a single family home in line with my subconscious Iowa desires, or if I want a duplex/townhouse with more modern features and minimal maintenance in line with my conscious time availability / maintenance abilities. I really don't want to share walls with anyone, but I also can't get a house on 80 acres in the area that I want to be in, so it's not like my inner Iowan will be satisfied anywhere here. And the places where I could get 80 acres would result in a long commute, and my inner Californian would be sad.

sssanyway, I probably won't solve that problem until I start looking at some properties and really understanding what the market looks like for each type of dwelling in my price range. After our meeting, I came home, did a bit of nothing, and then ran some errands, including grabbing a late lunch and buying a new printer. The printer became necessary a few months ago when I discovered that they no longer make drivers for my old printer that match any of my current operating systems, but I'd put it off until now. But I got a great black-and-white laser printer with wifi printing capability for $89.99 on sale at Staples, which happens to be one of the top-recommended printers on a bunch of consumer websites, so I'm pretty thrilled. Yes, I'm super dorky for being super thrilled about a printer, but you should know this by now.

Then I came home, called my parents, and then spent the evening setting up my printer and using it to print some inserts for my journal. And now I'm going to read a bit and go to bed, thus hopefully getting my week off on the right foot. Goodnight!

finished symphony

I had another great day in Boulder - the new year is off to a great start if you ignore the day job, which I've successfully done so far. I woke up in time to trim my bangs, shower, and throw together a frittata before John, Jess, and Ian came over for breakfast. The frittata turned out v. tasty, as usual, and I also had a bunch of berries (which was key since that's mostly what Ian wanted, although that turned into him force feeding them to John). Ian ran around my house a bit after, disappearing upstairs for a minute and then yelling down the stairs, "Auntie Wamp, can I play with this?" Since it turned out that 'this' was my rotary cutter, which was possibly the most dangerous thing he could have found in my house with only thirty seconds of searching, we decided that he could not play with it.

But despite my cold-hearted denial of his desire to play with my rotary cutter, we had a good morning. John and Ian went to a park, and Jess and I went to do the free tour at the Celestial Seasonings plant, which is based in Boulder. I don't drink much Celestial Seasonings because almost  all of their 'teas' are herbal infusions (no tea), or tea that has been overly flavored for my tastes - I mostly likely my tea without any flavors, unless it's a nice Earl Grey. But the tour was pretty interesting - they produce something like 1.6 billion bags of 'tea' a year, so the factory was cool.

After that, Jess and I grabbed a quick lunch at Boxcar, and then she went back to their hotel and I came home, napped, and journaled/wrote in the afternoon. We were supposed to rendezvous at Pizzeria Locale at 5:30...but at five, I idly wondered why I hadn't gotten a confirmation today, and then discovered it's because I'd made the reservation for next Saturday. Extreme rookie move. So I dashed over there without much hope, since it's v. hard to get a table there on weekends. I put my name in and they said they'd probably be able to seat us at the pizza bar around the same time as my original reservation, but that a table would be a two hour wait. Resigned to fate, I got a glass of wine - but also chatted up the staff whom I've befriended there, and suddenly a table appeared. We had to vacate it by seven, but that was more than doable - and I was pretty happy that I would be able to show my friends the full Pizzeria Locale experience (although my actual Pizzeria Locale experience is usually drinking three glasses of wine and reading a book at the bar, but this was acceptable too).

John/Jess/Ian arrived just after I scored the table, and we ordered some v. tasty stuff - the pizza that I usually get (a spicy pepperoni-type pizza), along with a pear pizza that Jess chose (delicious!), and some broccolini that was insanely good. We also got the little arancini balls to start, which I loved, and the whole meal was just about perfect. After, we took Ian out to 'hit the town' (it's super cute when he says it), but he wasn't as in the mood for another bar as we were, so we went back to the hotel and hung out in their room until it was time to say our goodbyes.

And now I should sleep - it's back to the usual grind tomorrow, since they're leaving super early and I have a bunch of stuff to do in preparation for the week/month ahead. Goodnight!

deck the halls with cherry yo-yos

I'm a bit too tired to blog, so this will be brief - but I took the day off (after only two days in the office) to hang out with John and Jess and Ian. We started with breakfast at Lucile's, which I've wanted to try - I've heard that the line on weekends is absurd, so I've never gone, but now I know why it's absurd. I ate all sorts of stuff I shouldn't have eaten - it was Cajun-style food, so I had a beignet, and I had eggs on top of fried eggplant with some v. amazing breakfast potatoes.

This made me super full (we were all full), but we rallied and drove up to Nederland. We rode the carousel up there, which was pretty entertaining/impressive (it costs a dollar and has an old Wurlitzer organ from the early 1900s). Ian ran around in a park even though it was unpleasantly cold - so unpleasantly cold that I went to an alpaca store after and bought a hat. Then we drove back to Boulder, and I came home, took a nap, ate some peanut butter, and wrote for an hour (yay).

We rendezvoused again around 5:30 and walked over to Dushanbe Teahouse, which I'd been to once before - it's a teahouse constructed from imported materials from Tajikistan, and it was perfect for an early dinner since half the other customers were screaming children (Ian was not screaming). My spicy rice noodles were excellent, and I had a decent mule-type drink with peppermint tea in it.

Then we wandered around Pearl Street for a couple of hours in an attempt to wear Ian out, and then went back to the hotel and had a drink while catching the tail end of a live jazz set in the lobby - they were really excellent, and Ian befriended them to the point that the drummer gave him an old pair of sticks after. But now, after spend the last hour engaged in mindlessness on my phone, I should really sleep - goodnight!

tell the waitress i'll come back to zanzibar

I had a somewhat lazy day at work - meetings mostly straight from 9:30 to 4, but there was still time to mess around and joke about dead plants, have lunch (which turned out to be a meeting), and also participate in a very abbreviated happy hour. But I left at four and got my nails done, which was necessary since I'd been peeling the gel off my fingernails while avoiding getting anything done. Then I came home, ate, prepped my house, texted with [censored], and went out and bought groceries.

This is all necessary because John and Jess and Ian are visiting this weekend (yay!). They got in tonight and are staying at the Boulderado, so I went over there after they got checked in to say hello to them. The hotel is really cool (old Victorian with a working person-operated Otis elevator), and their room is v. nice, so we hung out in it for awhile and ate leftover chips and salsa from the Mexican food they'd picked up on the way. John put Ian down while I talked to Jess, and then eventually Jess went to bed and John and I went down into the basement to have a drink at License No. 1. This is probably my favorite bar in Boulder, since it's rather speakeasy style and has a bunch of intimate interconnected rooms. Tonight was hopping, since they had a live band that was quite good, so John and I had a drink and discussed life, and it was all quite lovely.

But now I should sleep since their child will wake them up v. early and that means we will be having breakfast earlier than one might desire (but at the same time that I usually have breakfast). Goodnight!

cherry blossom girl

As it turns out, I really didn't want to go back to work today. I spent a couple of hours this morning sitting at my desk at home, contemplating my goals for the quarter and attempting to make some sense of my to-do list before the inevitable need to talk to people actually happened. Then I went into the office, had some meetings, ate a sandwich, had some more meetings, and peaced out at 5:15 because everyone else was already gone and I felt no need to be there any longer.

So I came home, did a bit of nothing, and then did some laundry, unpacked, cleaned up my kitchen, wrote for an hour (I'm burying the lede), and took care of some requests that people had made of me. I also bought tickets for my trip to CA at the end of January (for a writing retreat, not work, although a work trip is also happening in January), sent a couple of emails to schedule stuff during those trips, etc.

And now that I've accomplished enough to feel moderately satisfied with my progress, I'm going to bed - goodnight!

when the evening shadows and the stars appear

I'm back in Colorado and I'm not particularly enthused to go back to work tomorrow, but I'm sure I'm not the only one feeling that way. Today was mostly uneventful - I had breakfast with the family, then packed, dealt with some stuff that needs to be donated out of the house, and generally got ready to go. I said my farewells to my parents at home - [censored] was on the way back to [censored] today, so I hitched a ride rather than having my parents take me. We had a good conversation on the way up, and I wasn't quite ready for it all to end...

...but that's just the way it is. So I checked in, had a salad and a drink, and boarded my flight. Everything was super smooth and on time, but it inexplicably took 80 minutes for my bag to get off my plane - they were doing 30+ United Express flights on a single luggage carousel, so it appeared that every flight was taking an hour+ for the bags to get there. Had I known this, I would have eaten something in the airport, but c'est la vie.

I had vaguely thought I would take the much more economical bus home, but the luggage debacle made me miss the one I wanted to take, and I didn't want to wait another 45mins for the next one. So I took a lyft home, came in just long enough to throw some clothes in the wash and turn up my heat, and then went to the grocery store. This required brushing a few inches of snow off my car and almost freezing to death, since it's less than ten degrees here. But I got food, ate food, unpacked just a bit, and relaxed in an effort to wind down before the day job restarts.

Now it's time for bed - goodnight!

i trace the faith to a broken down television and put on the weather

Happy New Year's! I'm writing this at 12:36am in the Central timezone, but it will likely qualify as my last post of 2018 by the timestamp on my blog. 2018 was an interesting year for me - I met some important work and personal goals, so theoretically should have #noregrets, but the accomplishment of those goals happened by abandoning most of my writing and accidentally deprioritizing a lot of relationships. I didn't intend for either of those things to happen - but things got ridiculous at the day job this spring, and it's like I blinked and discovered it was December, and have no memory of how I got here.

Of course, I do have memory - and there are some great ones from this year. I did a lot of traveling in 2018, and had some amazing times with friends and family in multiple states (and with Dom Perignon in Paris, who is almost like family). I'm happy that I moved to Colorado, which is a great state (you should all move there). And I do actually like my job a lot, which is why it's sucked up so much of my energy this year.

But for 2019, I would like to rebalance my life - more writing, more friendships, more community in Colorado, more family (and family time), more kettlebells. I would also like to write a couple of books, buy a house, and take a vacation that involves neither writing nor family (no offense to anyone involved in either of those activities, but I need to recharge occasionally). And if I can do all of that while still feeling decently fulfilled in my job, that would make for a pretty great year.

As for today - it was all pretty uneventful, although [censored] won at Ticket to Ride: Europe yet again. I watched some tv with my mom after, and then [censored] and I rang in the new year by watching a replay of Johnny Carson's 1975/76 new year's eve broadcast (weird). Yes, I'm hermity, and no, I don't care.

Now, though, I need to go to sleep, dream of the new year, and wake up relatively early so that I can pack and prepare for my return to Colorado. Happy new year to all of you, and I hope you have a great 2019!